Forever and a day – that’s the relationship I envisioned!  I know ~ I’m a confirmed romantic but come on folks, fess up – I know most of you are too!! 

Oh to find the kind of love to last for eternity and beyond. To fall in love passionately and live happily ever after! That’s what dreams are made of, right? Of course I am realistic enough to understand that love and marriage are risky and not all couples stay together due to unforeseen circumstances, but let’s just say it’s what I hoped and prayed for as a young woman. 

As a teenager, I often wondered what the man of my dreams would look like, where and how I would meet him when the time came. How many children we would have and where we would live. Would he be as intense and passionate as me? Would we share the same values?  Of course all these questions and fantasies were like castles in the sky because that would be way off in my future …. after college, after I was teaching – and after I’d met enough different men, so I’d recognize “Mr. Right” when he appeared! 

Life is wonderful in the way it twists and turns, isn’t it? I’ve come to learn to always expect the unexpected. Little did I know that God had different plans for me! He presented me with my life partner on a double date while I was still in my teens!! Wait! This was not in MY plan!  I wasn’t ready for the love of my life yet – it was TOO soon – I had things to accomplish, places to go and life to experience! But here he was … a handsome American GI … not at all what this “proper” English girl would have expected, but as it turns out, everything and all she had ever wanted in a man. 

At first, I didn’t really think much about him at all – and a serious relationship was not in his plans for sure!  What kind of a name is Chuck anyway?  Now Charles – I get that!!  We had that first blind double date and quickly went our separate ways! Then destiny played its hand – God’s plan, fate – or whatever you want to call it! A chance encounter at a bus stop in downtown Oxford, brought us unexpectedly face to face! Hmmmm! He actually walked by and he could have kept on going, but he didn’t …. he stopped, backed up and said “I know YOU!” Within minutes my bus arrived and as I was hustling on board, he asked me out! I found myself accepting a second date – my head was saying “no” but my mouth betrayed me and said “yes”! 

A touch of his hand on that second date reached in and stole my heart – and then there was a third date, a fourth, a kiss and the rest is history! With love, when you know, you KNOW!!!  We both knew! As for me, I would have followed this man to the ends of the earth – and for 19 years in his Air Force career, pretty much did just that – and loved every minute of our travels in military life! 

Of course I’m talking about Chuck, my amazing husband of 50 years. My best friend, my biggest cheerleader, my rock and the wonderful Dad to our three children, Grandad to five grandkids and Great-Grandad to two adorable little boys!   

Oh my goodness where have the 50 years gone? 

It has been an incredible journey in life together. So much give and take on both sides, so much learned from each other and with each other, victories celebrated and yes some tears over some defeats of course…it keeps us fresh and on our toes right? For us, marriage stands for commitment – a decision to love one another – in sickness and in health “until death do us part”! And after renewing our vows in front of our children and grandchildren last month, we’re so ready for the next “fifty” years – or whatever amount of time God grants us together.

One of the most frequent questions we’re asked when people discover we’ve been married for 50 years and are still in love is “what’s your secret?” The secret is there is NO secret! It’s really all about LOVE! Love unconditionally, accept one another and learn to live together. It’s one of life’s greatest challenges – and deepest joys. A love that grows stronger each year! That is the goal of a married life. We’ve not measured marital success by worldly goods, for we believe that it is love alone that cements a marriage. Of course we love our “stuff” and we appreciate fine things, but don’t use material markers as marital success. The real measure is the depth and breadth of the loving relationship.

But mankind did not create love.  God created love and HE teaches it to us. The measure of true love is one given freely, and freely accepted, just as God’s love for us is given freely and unconditionally.  

Along with Corinthians 13: 4-7, this was one of the readings at our renewal of vows ceremony: 

“To Love is Not to Possess” by James Kavanaugh  

To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one’s self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one’s self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another–and to one’s inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon’s own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child’s scars
Or an adult’s deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are–and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide. 

Love is a many splendored thing, but it can also test us at times. It’s often during those times that love grows stronger.  So grateful that Chuck and I found each other and that we worked on our relationship to overcome the inevitable challenges that life hands us. Happy that we grew stronger and closer during the tough times … and that our love continues to grow and flourish as we walk this path together. We’re so blessed by our family and friends and most of all by our God, for his undying love and faithfulness to us and our marriage – for always being the center of our life, even though there are and have been times when the humdrum of life captured our attention and we took our eyes off Him. But all the while HE was there for us. God is good.  God is LOVE!

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2