A Tribute to My Mother … A year Later

My Dearest Mum,

It’s been a full year since I felt the Holy Spirit beckoning me to your side. I’m so grateful I listened to His call and sped over to you post haste. I wouldn’t have had it any other way, as painful as it was for me to say goodbye and let you go.

Mum, it helps me to write and express my feelings in stories and videos, so I made this video tribute to you. I hope you like it. I chose the accompanying music because I feel it depicts your humble, quiet, yet deep rooted faith and is so applicable to who you are. Your indomitable courage and strength … and the depths of your love. Whatever you were called to do during your life, you rose to the challenge, willingly with a beautiful smile on your face and a song in your heart, no matter what was asked of you. Continue reading →

Celebration of a Life Well Lived

This life we humans live is nothing short of astounding. Such a gift! In the small quiet hours before dawn, I marvel at it, and I’m so filled with wonder at this journey we call life. How can it be that four short days ago we were in England? In some ways it seems like a few minutes ago, yet in other ways it feels distant and almost as if it never happened, but vivid memories remind me that the time there was very real … as well as surreal, and now we’re home, fighting jet-lag and once again immersed in the daily “routine” of living. Somehow things are almost “back to normal” …. all is the same, yet everything is different.
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Roses of Devotion – a note to Dad

Dearest Dad,

Unbeknown to you, I captured this vision of you in the garden amongst the fragrant delicate, colors of the roses.

Roses of DevotionMy heart melted to see how you gazed so thoughtfully up at the beautiful blood red ones – the ones that were Mums favorites – and I immediately knew you were thinking of her. Forgive me for intruding in the moment. I’m happy you didn’t know I was there standing quietly, out of view. It was a special moment, a private one. Continue reading →

Surreal Sojourn ~ a note to Mum

Hello Mum!

I’ve been thinking of you today as I always do. How could I not? You are in my heart forever.

HighlandsToday I’m especially immersed in you. We’re planning for a great celebration of your life. We’ve chosen one of your favorite dresses – the one with the bright purple and pink splashes of flowers – the one that is so YOU! Your earthly body will look beautiful – a perfect extension of your sweet spirit which is alive and well in Heaven and also lives on here with us.

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Gentle Rain from Heaven

I so love the rain …. I feel rain. Of course sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy too, but there’s something ever so much more poignant about the rain. It inspires me to pour out words of soulful expression.

Today I awakened to the pitter-patter of raindrops gently tip-tapping at my bedroom window. Music to my ears and food for my soul.

I will especially enjoy my walk along to Mum’s bedside today. The river, its surrounding green pastures, and the stately trees along the route are adorned in their shimmering, flowing tear drops from above.

Heaven weeps Continue reading →

Swans by the River Stour at Sundown

Stour SwanYesterday was a particularly distressing day. Mum’s restful state changed rapidly to one of agitation and anxiousness. She was wide awake, her beseeching blue eyes darting back and forth almost child-like, asking questions constantly, in a frantic obsessive manner, rubbing her eyes, clutching at her face and clearly in a very disturbed state.

We tried everything we knew to calm her down and lull her back into serenity, stroking her forehead, playing music, softly reassuring her that all would be well, professing our love for her and reassuring her that she would be happy and whole forever. That we’d all be united again in eternity.

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God Pours Out His Favor

I have to confess that the last few days have been among the saddest, yet most joy-filled times I’ve ever experienced. Sad because my beautiful mother is fading away from life as we know it on this earth and I am heartbroken, yet I feel joy because her spirit is about to take flight and she will transition into the most glorious state ever – everlasting life with her Lord and Savior, where her body will be whole again and there will be no dementia. 

It was Sunday yesterday – a beautiful sunny day and if that wasn’t enough to raise our spirits, God favored us in a special way that makes my heart sing with joy and gratitude.

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Dementia Daze: The Rambling Mind

“What have I to do?  Where have I to go?”

mum95yrs Simple questions from a sound mind. Ones we ask ourselves {inside our heads} as we go about daily life planning our day, directing our activities. In contrast, these same queries from a confused mind are complex and disturbing to hear … at least they are to me. These two little questions have haunted me for some time now. It’s not easy to shut out their echoes inside my head.


Have you read my other Dementia Daze posts?

If you have, you already have a feel for the intensity of these repetitive questions from my beautiful mother, persistently asking the same two questions a hundred times a day. Sometimes so softly spoken it’s barely audible, a mere whisper, at other times sorrowfully, or blurted out in loud frustration, at times even angrily demanding, but always with a pleading undertone, accompanied with an equally beseeching look in her eyes … piercing at times and always searching for an answer through those expressive icy-blue eyes.
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Dementia Daze: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

In the last 18 months, my mother’s dementia has worsened noticeably. I guess it’s to be expected – a natural progression of an insidious, incurable disease. But if you’re like me, you remain ever hopeful, and you might even look for a tiny sign of improvement, knowing all the while in your heart of hearts, you won’t find it….it’s not there. There’s no denying Mum’s dementia has advanced significantly, so we might as well embrace it for what it is, and make the best of a challenging and heart-breaking reality.

Humor helps. Not that dementia is funny, but having the ability to laugh, to find the lighter side of things in life {no matter how hard you try, or how deep you must dig}, does help ease the pain, the sadness and the frustration that accompanies this affliction of the mind. Continue reading →

Dementia Daze: I Wish I Could Wake Up


My beautiful white-haired Mother stood by her bed and froze ever so slightly. My arm was around her, gently steadying her and guiding her towards bed, so I felt her body tense against mine before I saw her stiffen – just a little – it was a subtle motion but detectable to me. Only a few seconds earlier, as I eased her weak and weary frame off the chair from the stair lift by the bedroom door, I had sensed her hesitation to pass through the doorway. My husband discreetly stood by – my rock – my hero – giving us space, but right there if needed. My Dad downstairs awaiting his turn to ascend in the stair lift. I knew what was coming next. It happened the night before, the night before that and every other night for the previous 20 days I’d cared for my Mum.  “Where have I to go Anthea?”
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