This life we humans live is nothing short of astounding. Such a gift! In the small quiet hours before dawn, I marvel at it, and I’m so filled with wonder at this journey we call life. How can it be that four short days ago we were in England? In some ways it seems like a few minutes ago, yet in other ways it feels distant and almost as if it never happened, but vivid memories remind me that the time there was very real … as well as surreal, and now we’re home, fighting jet-lag and once again immersed in the daily “routine” of living. Somehow things are almost “back to normal” …. all is the same, yet everything is different.

Almost a week ago, August 3rd at 11:30 am, we laid my sweet mother to rest in peace.

Amongst friends and family, amidst fragrant, delicate flowers sprinkled with notes expressing our deepest love for a wife, mother, and grandmother … from my Dad, me, Chuck and all three of our children … we celebrated the wonderful life of my mother. All 95 years. We sang her favorite joyful hymns, shared meaningful scriptures and praised God for her long life. I pray her sweet spirit enjoyed the music and love we tried to convey in her memorial service. I certainly felt her presence, her peace …. and I was comforted.

Let me express the appreciation I have for all those who have lost a loved one and how impossible it is to do justice to a beautiful life in the space of a few short minutes of time. As they say, it’s all about the dash between the dates. I really struggled with the how, what, when and where of portraying Mum’s amazing life. But when all is said and done, it’s the “who” that matters, so we tried our best to convey the essence of who Mum was and the way she lived her life, because it truly was a life well lived.

A life well lived:

“Phyllis was born in Dunoon, Scotland on 24th November, 1919, the eldest of 9 children. She was a happy, bright child with an aptitude for mathematics, winning a prestigious scholarship to the Bellahouston Academy in Glasgow.

While serving her country as a WREN during WWII, she met her future husband Tony, at Broughty Ferry, near Dundee. They soon became engaged, were married in 1943 and Anthea was born in 1945.

After the war, they initially settled in Oxford where Tony was teaching and Phyllis was secretary to the Director of Pharmacy at a hospital, until Tony’s 3 year teaching contract took them to East Africa, where Phyllis worked at a bank, learned to swim, frequently played tennis, enjoyed a splendid social life and experienced adventures among wildlife. After two years back in Oxfordshire, Phyllis organized a wedding for Anthea and Chuck, and within a few months she and Tony emmigrated to Sydney, Australia, where they resided for 30 fulfilling years, before settling in Dorset. Phyllis lived and worked on three continents making life-long friends and a meaningful impact everywhere she went.

She travelled extensively during her life, loved to visit Anthea and Chuck and her grandchildren in America, as well as relatives in Canada, and while she enjoyed holidays in the Mediterranean and elsewhere, it was bonnie Scotland that captured her heart. She derived joy and contentment from the invigorating highland air, a walk through heather in the glen or alongside one of the lochs. Phyllis loved music, the opera and ballet, but the lilting call of bagpipes stirred her soul like no other.

Family was paramount to Phyllis who was a devoted daughter, sister, wife and mother, and as such took great pride in creating a comfortable home life for her loved ones. “Home is a good place to be”, she would often affirm with conviction. She loved to entertain and as an experienced culinary artist was always complimented on her splendid nutritious meals, and dinner parties that were remembered years afterwards. She was creative in many ways, as a keen gardener flower arrangements filled the home, and for fun she created dolls with porcelain faces, outfitting them in beautiful hand-sewn garments.

Phyllis will be remembered for her sweet spirit. She was quick to flash her beautiful friendly smile…..and she had one for everyone. She was happy, optimistic, passionate about helping others, and generous to a fault. She ascribed to the importance of gratitude for each day and believed that no matter what the circumstances, everything would work out. She would encourage others with “don’t fret about tomorrow, all will be well”. She maintained a playful approach to life, a great sense of humor and she loved to laugh. She was well-liked by all who knew her.

In recent years when she suffered from dementia, she was courageous and bore her physical and mental problems with quiet fortitude and graceful dignity. Her nurses would remark “she is a lovely lady”. Overall, her life was a fine example to her contemporaries and later generations. She knew how to show love and in return was greatly adored by all her family including grandchildren, and great grandchildren, who profess their love and gratitude for so inspiring them with the way she lived her life.”

This is a passage taken from a sermon from many years ago, by Canon Henry Scott Holland called All is Well. Mum and I shared a fondness for this so I read it for her at the service.

“Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!”

I am comforted with the assurance that Mum is at peace now and in her heavenly form. How do I know? Because I know our God and His Amazing Grace, and I know Mum’s faith in Him was true.

God is so faithful. He fulfills the desires of our hearts. The night I returned home, Mum came to me in a dream. She was standing in an archway looking as beautiful, vivid and as radiantly happy as I have ever seen her. She was smiling at me with outstretched arms as if to give me the biggest hug. And then she slowly faded from me and slipped into the next room, just around the corner. It was ethereal.

I will love you forever Mum.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16