Today is Mother’s day!  As you well know, this is the first mother’s day since Grandma left us to join her celestial family and make a new home in the Kingdom of Heaven.

What a glorious time she must be having! So much to celebrate up there. I recall so clearly the awe and wonder on her face when God favored her with a glimpse of where she was going as she lay dying.  I feel overwhelmed by peace today … as vividly as the day I witnessed that experience.

I often stretch my imagination in an attempt to visualize the beauty of the world beyond and though I strain to do so as best I can, I fall so utterly short of words to illustrate the wonder of it all … the sheer magnificence of what awaits us in the next life. With so much love and indescribable beauty on which to feast her eyes and feed her soul, your Grandma must be ecstatic. I am filled with joy.

I love and miss my Mum with all my heart {and I know you do too} but I rejoice in who she is and where she is and I know you join me in wishing her a happy mother’s day!

So my dear children, why do I write a letter to you on Mother’s Day? Because I’m your Mom and it’s a good time to share a few thoughts with you and also because you have children of your own so you understand firsthand the depth of a parent’s love. I’m flooded with gratitude for you all. What an honor to be entrusted with living souls to nurture, guide and love forever.

I am aware that I’m now the tribal Matriarch! I must confess that knowing I’m the “matriarch” of the family is indeed unnerving … not only does the title {and position} cause me to tremble in my boots, but when I think of whose shoes I fill, and those who bore the honored role of family matriarch in generations past, I’m somewhat intimidated.  

Yet, it’s also empowering to know that a special title of honor is reserved for the eldest mother in the family, not due to any special deed, or claim to fame, and not because she’s qualified or deserving, but that she merely inherits it by default.  The title is bestowed on her simply for being the oldest Mom in the clan?   I’m branded with a new name!  Matriarch!  Whoop!!!  The distinguished description alone instills confidence … and infuses me with a renewed sense of purpose and meaningful standing within the family hierarchy.  Wow! Now I get a title to lend credence to my current role of Mom, Grandma and Great Grandma.” Amazing!

My mother once admonished me in a moment of frustration {can’t remember what precipitated the comment} “if you’re half the mother your Grandma was, you’ll be doing well!”  Mum definitely knew how to put things in perspective … she had a succinct and disarmingly authentic way with words, always delivered at the perfect time to put everyone and everything in its proper place. Lol!  Despite the sting of the hastily spoken zinger, she spoke the truth and I knew it. No argument there …in the realm of motherhood my grandmother excelled {she was like the mother superior!} and she passed that excellence on to my mother who, as eldest daughter in the family, happily assumed the honor and carried the banner forward.  She conscientiously and lovingly shared family news, offering encouragement, comfort, advice and wisdom as she nurtured siblings and their families near and far, in much the same way as a shepherd tends his flock.

My mother and grandmother were daunting matriarchs … they set the standard high for those who follow.  Both were highly domesticated women … amazing home makers and cooks. Everything baked from scratch, clothes hand sewn, my grandmother darned socks while my mother even ironed my Dad’s underwear. Where in heaven’s name did they find the time and inclination? {I must confess I haven’t touched an iron in months! Ouch!}

My grandmother raised nine children successfully, my mother had one child … me … but she also worked full-time, did all the shopping and housework and still she managed to entertain friends, providing lavish meals on a shoestring, often on a day she mowed lawns and trimmed hedges! Goodness me!

As I think about these two special women today on Mother’s Day, I marvel at them and I’m filled with admiration and love for them. Yes I’m in awe of what they did day to day for their families and what they accomplished in their lifetime, but what is most meaningful and what I most desire to emulate as a new matriarch myself is not related to what they did, how they did it, but rather WHO they were and how they lived their lives.

Each in their own way, they were strong independent thinkers … women ahead of their time. They were kind, loving, loyal and fiercely protective of their family. They exuded authenticity, epitomized motherhood, adhered to strong family values, were selfless to a fault … they bore hardship and challenges with fortitude … and no they weren’t perfect {who is?} yet they always sported a happy bright smile and maintained their sense of humor no matter what life dealt them.

I asked your Dad yesterday what he thinks a matriarch is!  You’re going to die laughing! His response was “a mother boss!” Funny!  It’s not what I have in mind at all for the kind of “matriarch” I envision myself to be.

I aspire to be a matriarch who embraces the role of honor with grace, dignity and truth. One who accepts that with age comes a certain amount of authority, and the power to gently and kindly influence others positively. To instill meaningful values by example, to lovingly speak the truth, even when others would prefer I be silent. To strengthen the family unit. To be the first to cry “circle the wagons!”

The more I think about the term matriarch, the more I warm up to it. I think it implies  a mother’s genuine concern for all the generations under the family tree, not just my own children, but for my grandchildren and their children … and even other people’s children.

Maybe, just maybe with God’s help, the right attitude, a strong focus on the who I am,  lives of multi generations can feel the impact, resulting in the kind of matriarchal legacy handed me by my mother and grandmother.

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”  1 Peter 3:3-5

Dedicated to my three children, David, Stephen and Chandra whom I love and adore.