I gazed out my bedroom window, longingly staring into the carefully manicured back garden where my parents were relaxing together after mowing the grass, weeding the flower borders, edging the lawns and trimming hedges.  Long lazy shadows stretched across the newly mown lawns and although the sun shone faintly, it bounced little glints of flashing light and sparkles up at my window as its rays danced on the water, bringing my attention to the two fish ponds.

It was mid-summer of 1952 and daylight savings was in full bloom in an unusually warm summer in England. It would have been close to 9:30 pm … approaching sunset … but still light enough to keep a seven-year old wondering why she was supposed to be asleep when she yearned to be down there enjoying the magical moment.

I had been told numerous times over the course of long summer nights to get back into bed and go to sleep. I was strictly warned not to climb on that precarious 3-legged stool to sneak a peak over the window ledge. “Not one more time Anthea!” I’d already tipped it over two or three times landing on my tush with a thump.  Fortunately no harm done!

The temptation of the outside world was just too overpowering for this curious high-spirited child and try as I might, sleep was as evasive as the butterflies I’d chased all afternoon. I tip-toed across the room, compelled to look out the window one more time, which meant climbing up on the stool and parting the curtains to see outside.

Curiosity kills the cat! Ummmm! Not always …..

Feeling very self-satisfied perched on the stool, knowing I was being naughty and getting away with something, I rested my chin on folded arms, which were sprawled on the narrow slate window sill … and I settled in to observe what was going on down below.

Then it happened. A lesson learned. Life … the great teacher … stepped in again! My weight shifted, the stool tipped and I slid downward and backwards, hitting my chin and scraping my throat all the way to my clavicle! Ouch! It not only scared me but hurt like the dickens as I let out a blood curdling scream of anguish, which caused both parents to fly into the house and up the stairs to my bedroom, faster than I’d ever seen them move … arriving white-faced in anticipation of what they might find.

Needless to say once they assured themselves I wasn’t seriously injured, and after I initially got hugs and was comforted, I got a tongue lashing and reprimand for disobedience.  Hey, it was well-deserved.

And lo and behold, I learned THAT lesson … finally.

How many times did that lesson repeat before I learned NOT to climb on precarious 3-legged stools?  Several times, but note that it took some real pain, a little blood loss, a huge fright and injured pride before I learned the lesson once and for all. 

Did I continue to steal glances out the window on long lazy summer nights after this experience? What do you think? Of course I did … kids will be kids!  I simply found other more stable pieces of furniture to climb on.  I learned the one specific lesson, but not that of obedience. Nor the lesson of listening to my inner voice, the early warning system that could have saved me from future mishaps.  Yes, I had an adventurous naughty streak … probably still do!

Back to the topic … lessons learned.

There have been so many life lessons, both personal and business, that I’ve had to learn, as a student, friend, daughter, wife, mother, grandmother and as entrepreneur and mentor.  Can you relate? Sometimes I learned because of pleasing results or rewards, some lessons were mastered due to pain, disappointment, embarrassment, or necessity. Sometimes life dealt me a hand with a treasure of a lesson that I understood right away, so repeat circumstances were not needed! LOL!

But then there were life’s huge meaningful lessons that for some reason I didn’t grasp the first or the second time, so I had to live with and through the consequences of my mistakes, choices and decisions until I grew wiser and stronger from having suffered, endured, persevered and implemented the necessary changes to myself and my circumstances in order to rise above and beyond, thus mastering another instruction from life, the great teacher.

Here’s what I have learned about lessons. “Life” is the best teacher in the world and it will dish out many valuable lessons in our lifetimes. Experiences that mold us into who we are and who we become. Life is a compelling teacher and one who persists in its endeavors to protect us, shape us, guide us and strengthen us. Life is relentless in the  effort to instill us with wisdom, experience and understanding.

This amazing teacher is tenacious in its persistence to teach us, to effect change and help us learn and grow from experiences. It never gives up. It is the master of repeat.

Happily, most of us DO learn from experiences and mistakes … at least at some point! What troubles me is some NEVER seem to learn despite the resulting hardship they must endure. They make a poor decision which results in hardship and pain  … then they complain … next they blame.

The proverbial pain-complain-blame syndrome is alive and well. The victim mentality.   People caught in this trap blame everyone but themselves for a predicament they put themselves in, usually as a result of a poor choice or decision they made. They even blame the master teacher – Life! Worse still they may blame God for their own short comings or poor judgement. NOT cool!

People with the “victim mentality” {come on you all know one} speak in language that infers they somehow had nothing to do with where they are or what’s going on in their life, that they’re helpless victims of circumstance, and powerless to change their lot in life.  They use phrases such as “it just happened to me” or “it wasn’t my fault” or “there’s nothing I could do” or “I don’t know why I’m having such a run of bad luck!”

Come on folks! Own it! Put on your big girl or big boy panties, dig deep, find  your inner strength and understand that unless you experienced a major tragedy or something that TRULY was beyond your control {there are legitimate reasons too} you DO have the power to learn from life’s lessons, to move beyond them and change your lot.

If you see yourself as a victim, just know and believe that you don’t have to be a victim. You don’t HAVE to stay where you are. YOU have the power to change your life, who you are and where you go in the future. Look back at the choices you made that caused you to be where you are. Look them honestly and squarely in the face. Decide to change. Make a better choice, a wiser decision, commit to empower yourself and take action to change your attitude and your activities.

Here’s what I know for sure. We must ALL learn the lessons!  L.I.F.E.  places the same lesson in front of us over and over and over again until we do learn. Remember this if you’re facing the same challenges repeatedly.

The lessons will repeat until the lessons are learned!

Are you struggling with something that plays like a broken record, a circumstance that won’t go away or keeps coming back time and again to haunt you?

STOP IT! If something’s not working for you, stop doing it. Simple! Learn the lesson from the undesired result. Then CHANGE! Decide to do things differently then chart your future course. You have the power to empower yourself! Change who you are or what you’re doing, your results will change … along with your entire life! Get on it!

Learn from the teachings of LIFE!

“The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: for gaining wisdom and instruction;
for understanding words of insight; for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to those who are simple, knowledge and discretion to the young let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:1-7