Yesterday was a particularly distressing day. Mum’s restful state changed rapidly to one of agitation and anxiousness. She was wide awake, her beseeching blue eyes darting back and forth almost child-like, asking questions constantly, in a frantic obsessive manner, rubbing her eyes, clutching at her face and clearly in a very disturbed state.

We tried everything we knew to calm her down and lull her back into serenity, stroking her forehead, playing music, softly reassuring her that all would be well, professing our love for her and reassuring her that she would be happy and whole forever. That we’d all be united again in eternity.

My dad even hummed the tune he used to sing for Mum during the war …. their secret melody alerting her that he was back from flying a mission, as he darted by her door (how romantic)…. but alas …. to no avail. Nothing would calm her.

I think there’s nothing worse than seeing a loved one suffer and feeling helpless to assist. I must confess those 3 hours challenged me in a way I’ve only experienced once before, a long time ago.

I felt hope fade as my faith faltered. Fear and doubt began to set in. How much longer would my sweet mother have to suffer. My thoughts were running rampant now. I was searching for answers. Human answers, as my spiritual strength slipped away.

I called the nurse to come to the house to administer a sedative. It seemed to help very slightly but only temporarily.

I called the Reverend from the local church and he came right away to visit with Mum. His gentle touch on her forehead and hand, along with a reassuring blessing and prayer settled Mum a little and certainly calmed me.

I hated to leave but by 8:35 pm I was emotionally and physically spent I needed to regain strength for what we would face today. I declined kind offers for a ride to the B&B as I welcomed the solitude of the 15 minute evening walk alongside “green pastures” in the setting sun. Time to myself to decompress, to soul search and to pray for serenity for Mum.

My faith still floundered and my senses reeled from the trauma of the afternoon. How much longer must Mum suffer I wondered? Why must she linger so? God where are you in all this? Why are you not taking her home to rest?

Rhetorical questions really. I knew the answer. Your timing Lord. Not mine!

 It was a beautiful evening to stroll and soak up the spectacular sun sinking behind the wooded copse and radiating its beams of yellow and pink light heavenward.

As I neared the bridge at the River Stour, I came upon a beautiful scene. The still waters by the bridge, reflecting the dappled sunset-lit clouds amongst the lily pads and a circular ripple slowly pooling outwards.

I stood for a moment to admire the scene and breathe in the beauty of God’s artistry, when a movement on the river bank captured my attention.

I was enthralled by the sight.

There in the reeds were two beautiful white swans and their cygnets making their way toward me. I cannot remember ever seeing swans here before and certainly never a family. I felt my spirits rise and I snapped a photo and a short video. I stayed to enjoy the swans for about ten minutes watching the family interaction.

It was dusk now, the sun gone and I walked back to my lodging. I didn’t think much more about the swans until a couple of hours later as I was sending the pictures to our family back home. Answering their supportive Whatsapp communications as they attempted to boost my low spirits with their love and encouragement.

The suddenly it came to me!  Swans signify serenity, purity, faith, and transformation.

Could this be a sign from God?

I know God speaks to us in many ways and often in simple ways, like symbols that we can comprehend. It would be so like Him to deliver a comforting message through one of His magnificent creations! The family of swans assuring me of serenity, faith, peace and transformation.

When I arrived to visit Mum at 7:30 am today, I found her serene and peaceful. My faith restored, I await God’s time for transformation to her heavenly state.

Thy will be done.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7