I so love the rain …. I feel rain. Of course sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy too, but there’s something ever so much more poignant about the rain. It inspires me to pour out words of soulful expression.
Today I awakened to the pitter-patter of raindrops gently tip-tapping at my bedroom window. Music to my ears and food for my soul.
I will especially enjoy my walk along to Mum’s bedside today. The river, its surrounding green pastures, and the stately trees along the route are adorned in their shimmering, flowing tear drops from above.
There is a quiet beauty found in nature when heaven weeps. It comforts me to know that God understands our sadness and uses heaven’s tears to reassure us of His love.
I welcome the soft raindrops kissing my face as I walk over to sit with Mum on this grey, rainy day, which very well could be her last one here with us. I’m grateful for the falling rain splashing on my face that mingles with my salty tears of joy and sadness.
O God how great thou art. You know the desires of my heart before I speak.
I am so happy that Chuck, the love of my life, the north on my compass, my rock will soon be here by my side and for the amazing support and love pouring out from family and friends. It means the world to me. My cup overflows with joy! I have something beautiful to share about tears. On this wet morning my tears of sadness are infused with tears of joy and a peace that surpasses all my understanding. It’s an inexplicable, compelling feeling …. a gift from a living, loving God.
Yesterday Mum was semi-awake for a few hours. Lots of hand squeezing as my Dad and I sat by her bedside. No words uttered from her. None were needed. Our hearts have expressed our love for each other a million times over the years. Mum knows she is loved and I know she loves Dad and me and all our family. It’s all been said a million times in years of countless expressions.
Love understands touch as clearly as any word.
As I sat and marveled at the love between Mum and Dad for over 70 years together, Mum gently pulled her hand out from under Dad’s and very slowly raised both arms upwards as she turned her gaze from Dad towards the direction that compelled her, and captured her full attention. Her lips moved slightly as if to whisper and her countenance relaxed. She looked lovely.
Mum was staring in child-like innocence. All I can think of to describe Mum’s facial appearance is that it resembled that of a baby. Imagine a young baby lying on her back, with little arms stretched upward, with hands and fingers in expressive motion, with eyes fixated, gazing heavenward, enthralled in sheer wonderment at her discovery.
Seeing it produced an immediate flood of emotion. An incredible sensation of love and peace in me that is indescribable. The look of love and wonderment in my mother’s eyes and on her face was nothing short of beautiful. Whether she saw members of her family who had passed or she saw a glimpse of heaven or angels, or whatever, I don’t know. What I do know without any doubt is that she truly saw something very awe-inspiring that held her spellbound. I believe it was something spiritual that amazed her.
It was life-changing for me. The peace that surpasses all understanding that i saw on my mother’s face remains with me today. It is such assurance!
I can now embrace what today brings because of it.
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:7