Dearest Dad,

Unbeknown to you, I captured this vision of you in the garden amongst the fragrant delicate, colors of the roses.

My heart melted to see how you gazed so thoughtfully up at the beautiful blood red ones – the ones that were Mums favorites – and I immediately knew you were thinking of her. Forgive me for intruding in the moment. I’m happy you didn’t know I was there standing quietly, out of view. It was a special moment, a private one.

I want to thank you Dad for your devotion to Mum especially during the last few years when the dementia grew heart-wrenchingly worse. I can’t imagine the pain you endured to see your bright, beautiful bride slowly deteriorate mentally – and later physically – before your very eyes. And you who have always been so in control of your life, and in command of any and all situations, to find yourself completely helpless to prevent the progression, fix the situation or make it all better for Mum.

But Dad, you did. You did make it better. You not only made it better in all ways humanly possible under the circumstances, but you sacrificed so much of yourself for Mum, and while you would claim you simply did what you had to, that’s not true at all – your devotion to Mum, along with her gratitude to you, and for your love and care, kept you going when I and many others would have despaired and given up.

You embraced the challenge of caring for Mum as seriously as any other project you’ve ever tackled in your long life and I so love you and respect your fortitude, your endurance, your perseverance to keep Mum at home at all costs, and your dogged determination to keep yourself alive to “see Mum safely out” as you so often stated.

You can rest assured Dad that no one could have done more or loved more. Your  devotion to Mum has shone brighter and stronger than the amazing beauty of the roses of love you grew and tended for Mums pleasure and enjoyment. The love you openly expressed in her last few days was so evident to her and to me Dad, and with a little smile here and a hand squeeze when weak whispers failed her, Mum confirmed her love and gratitude to you. She knew you were there with her to the very end. She knows you will be together in eternity.

Mum will be with you every day in your heart. You’ll see her when you least expect it in the little joys and beauty of life. You’ll feel her love embracing you from above and whenever you feel sad or low, look to the beauty of the roses. On the coldest day in winter, just think of them in full bloom as they are today and Mum will come to warm your heart, raise your spirits and confirm the life long love you’ve shared for 71 years.  She will let you know she’s waiting for you – not far away.  All is well!

God bless you and keep you Dad. I love you.

Anthea OOXX

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40